Self Doubt Leads to Self Sabotage, Let’s Stop That | Managing the Imposter Syndrome
Patrice Ford Lyn C.P.C
Everyone else who says they feel like they have the imposter syndrome is an imposter. But you, you are really a fraud. Right? Keep thinking that and you will never achieve your greatness.
The impostor syndrome is a self-fulfilling belief where you doubt your own intelligence and talents. It often comes up at times that others might associate with success and happiness: getting a promotion, starting your own business, or having a child.
When experiencing the imposter syndrome, you’re so certain that you aren’t good at something that you think that anyone who says otherwise is either being very optimistic, slightly delusional, or dishonest.
But what's your truth? See if any of these statements resonate with you:
You're not as intelligent or talented as people seem to believe you are.
Your achievements are because of luck, like good timing.
You have thoughts of "I'm not worthy," or "I don't deserve this."
You believe that what you do is never enough - worrying that you can't live up to your own or others' expectations.
You focus more on your mistakes than on your achievements.
You have perfectionist tendencies.
You think your talents and strengths are common or unremarkable. Thinking that your job is so easy that anyone could do it.
You believe that you have to work harder than everyone else to measure up.
So, here's the good news: Imposter Syndrome is associated with high achievers. The more specialized you become, the more aware you will be of the gaps in your knowledge. Likewise, the more successful you are, the more impressive your peers are likely to be. So, if you feel like a fraud, it's likely that you're actually both very capable and in the company of other high achievers who also doubt their capabilities. Really.
So now what? How do you overcome it? Here are a few tips:
Check your fear/doubt. What are you feeling? What is the root? Is it true? The first step in overcoming Imposter Syndrome is to acknowledge what you're feeling, and see if you can figure out why. Remember, feelings aren’t facts. Just because you feel unqualified doesn't mean you actually are. Identify your narratives and really look to see if you can find evidence to the contrary, then counter those false narratives.
Become truly aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Get a book like Strengths Finder and discover your top strengths. Conduct an internal Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats (SWOT) analysis. Look over your performance reviews to evaluate areas of opportunity. Once you have a reasonable understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, you will have a clearer understanding of your aptitude. You can then focus on working in the area of your strengths and hiring/outsourcing for your weaknesses.
Talk to people you trust for insights. Ask them about your talents and strengths and listen to what they have to say. Listening to the trusted people in your life will remind you of the areas where you excel and the areas where you still have work to do.
Manage perfectionism. Life isn’t perfect and neither are people. It's okay to be ambitious. Set high goals AND understand that life won’t always work out as planned. There is no shame in failure. Failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s a part of success. Each curveball provides valuable information on what you know, need to know, need help with etc.
Allow yourself to be a work in progress. It’s okay to have to work at things. That doesn’t make you an imposter, it means you continually strive to grow. It’s smart to ask questions for clarity, guidance and insight.
Own your successes. Find it hard to accept compliments because you don’t take responsibility for your achievements? Practice taking compliments - really taking them in. We are often taught to be humble, but it's not boasting to be honest - especially when you know that you’ve done well. Even more, develop your own barometer for an honest appraisal of your work so you don’t require outside validation. When you meet a goal or finish an important project, acknowledge that it was your skill and talent that made it happen - not luck. Finally, keep a record of positive feedback - for example, an email folder with feedback from colleagues and clients.
Feeling like a fraud can happen in a minute but it can take valuable time and real support to work your way out of those thoughts. If you don't take the time, you're likely to self sabotage and play small - developing a negative cycle of fear, doubt and shame. If you need some support, reach out. Let’s shift your mindset. You don't have to keep feeling like a fraud. You can be both great and a work in progress.
Resource and Inspiration: A great source for on-demand digital career and management learning solutions is www.mindtools.com.